Friday, June 11, 2010
Fear of words
I just want to say that I really want to participate and comment on blogs I read. This is one of the things I struggle with. Writing or saying something that becomes a permanent statement. I start to write something and then my mind races and I erase it because it might cause something bad to happen. It just is my OCD holding me back from doing things I want to do and communicating with other people. I'm also afraid of saying the wrong thing at the doctors in fear it will stay on my medical chart. I won't even email the doctor office anymore because I don't want what I've emailed to go in my permanent record. Reading your blogs of those who also have OCD have been a great comfort to me. If I am feeling alot of anxiety I feel like I can come here and get peace by knowing other people out there know what I am going through. I continue to learn and relate to you and thank you for sharing. It doesn't mean that I'll never post a comment. I guess it just depends on my anxiety level.
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If you feel like getting a good exposure in, you're welcome to come to my blog and insult me, or wish bad will upon someone. :)
ReplyDeleteUh, yeah, I have some understanding about being afraid to comment. That's why I've been reading ocd blogs and thinking about commenting, but not actually commenting. Because I might say something wrong, or maybe I just shouldn't comment; maybe commenting would be wrong. Or maybe it wouldn't be quite wrong, just unwise. The possibilities go on and on. So now let me re-read this a few times... or just stop and post it. :)
ReplyDeleteI don't know if it helps, but when I write my blog, I get the same fear about saying something wrong or imperfectly, but the more posts I've written as an exposure, the easier it has gotten. One of my rituals is rehearsing what I'm going to say over and over, which gets old really fast, and I'm working to just post, in spite of not knowing it's exactly right.
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