Here I am typing with my ridiculous rubber gloves on. I don't know why it seems like my contamination fears of chemicals is getting so much worse lately. I just took the garbage can out to the curb with my rubber glove on and I had a plastic grocery bag but I didn't use it and then I tried to throw it in the garbage but it blew out and I had to pick it up and touch the lid fearing the contamination of the hook in there that we used to transport the antifreeze. I took the garbage out because I knew if my husband did it he wouldn't be wearing gloves.
Yesterday, I had to deal with battery contamination issues. I was at the store and when I got in my car it wouldn't start. I had to get a new battery. The guy who was helping me, his hands were all dirty to start from working. I was afraid that I got battery acid on my keys and car. I had to go home and clean it all off.
I just don't know what the deal is here. I don't know if I need more medication or what is going on. I feel like I did when I wasn't taking any.
Kim, it seems like you are really struggling with your OCD... Have you tried exposure ritual prevention therapy??? From one OCD sufferer to another, that coupled with medication is the key to freedom. Look into it, there are so many great places that can help. Good luck, I hope the volume of your symptoms goes down, but believe me, this type of therapy works wonders!
ReplyDeleteIt must be something in the air since we're both struggling right now. lol ;) Something natural you could try to help with symptoms is B12 supplements. I use a drops supplement from Walgreens. It helps a ton for me - except for PMS days. ;)
ReplyDeleteLolly, I haven't tried exposure therapy. I just never wanted to try it because I was too afraid.Thanks for suggesting I'll have to think about it.
ReplyDeleteShana,thanks. I'll have to see about that. I can use all the help I can get.
Hi Kim. I just started following your blog (I wrote the other day). I absolutely feel your pain. I have struggled for so many years too. I first heard about CBT and ERP back in 1996. But I was so scared that I put it off for THIRTEEN more years. I regret that now. My family and I suffered for 13 more years, and my OCD had the chance to really sink into my brain for all those extra years. CBT is really, really hard. But I can honestly tell you it was worth it. I can do things now that I haven't been able to do in years. I have actually had a small taste of freedom and my family and I love it! I hope you feel better soon.
ReplyDeleteRegarding Exposure Response Prevention, what if you started really really slowly? Started with really small exposures - like washing your hands a tiny bit less? I used to wash my right hand part way up my arm because I knew there were germs there. If I remember right, I slowly brought it back to my wrist. This was one of my smaller issues - my hardest issues were harm and scrupulosity issues. Do you have an area that you have a bit of ocd in but not as strong as your chemical fears? Trying too much at once can be really hard, but it's okay to take it really slowly. Unfortunately, it still takes effort... I'm doing better now. I don't know how much is due to the cognative behavioral theropy, exposure response prevention theropy, and medication.
ReplyDeleteHi, Kim--This is my first time reading your blog. I can relate to your fears of harming others/yourself, passing germs, etc. I have not tried the cognitive therapy, at least not specifically for OCD, nor the exposure therapy. But I have found through the years that even with medication and my "tricks," I have periods of high anxiety when symptoms will become more intense. Hope it gets better soon!
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