It's early on Thursday morning. I still have not found peace about the antifreeze in my garage. It's just bugging the heck out of me. I have felt so much stress from this. I am a bundle of nerves wound up tight and my back muscles are aching. I felt so exhausted in a different way than usual at the end of the day yesterday. I haven't felt this way in a long time. I hate feeling this way. I am going to take a clonazepam this morning so I hopefully can feel some relief. It won't take it away though. I'm just really wanting to know what you would do if you were me? If you aren't sure what I'm talking about, the post just before this one is what it's about. I giggled when talking about it on the phone but it's not funny at all. It's is causing so much strife and here we go again this dance with this dreaded OCD. Please tell me your opinions I need them. Thank You.
You asked for an opinion so I will give you mine. I do not have OCD but my son did have severe OCD and after intensive ERP Therapy he is doing great. Something you said in your last post really stood out to me:
ReplyDelete"I know I can do things like exposures but I have done that and it just doesn't seem worth it to me for all that it puts me through."
Everyone I know of who has gone through ERP Therapy for OCD has said something similar to the following:"It is one of the hardest things I have ever done, but so worth it." Sure, ERP is hard work , anxiety-provoking, and time consuming, but the payoff is huge. Judging by the sound of your post, you are really suffering now and you deserve to feel better. In my experience, totally committing to ERP Therapy is what you need to do.
It would be great also if your husband could be involved and more educated about your OCD so that he understands more. On the flip side, it certainly doesn't sound like he enables you very much! Good Luck!
Kim - here's my opinion. What you need to do is let it go.
ReplyDeleteBUT - I know that's really really really really really really hard with OCD. :)
Sorry that the cure feels worse than the disease. :) Good luck!
Hi Kim. I just found your blog the other day. I'm very, very sorry to hear that you are struggling so much right now. I know exactly how you feel. I have been there and in some ways I still am. Are you in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy right now? I know the exposures are brutal, but they do eventually work. You could maybe tackle this very issue with a qualified CBT psychologist. I have reclaimed quite a bit of my life back, though I still have a long way to go. I am afraid of chemicals too so I get it. It has just been one little tiny step at a time. When I'm really stuck on an obsession, I try to trust those around me who don't have OCD (including my husband). Maybe you and your husband could compromise a little with regard to chemicals, with the sole aim of you eventually working your way to more and more acceptance of having the chemicals in your garage. You could start real small. I hope you feel better soon. I will be praying for you.
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