Facing Anxiety Today

My Sunday did not go so well. I felt sad almost all day. I know that hormones for woman can play a part but I don't know if that's why or not. I experience sadness and depression sometimes for no reason and other times it for a reason I feel I have no control over. In August I got my daughter's ears pierced. We were at the mall having her pictures taken and it had been a long day. I don't even know what I was thinking because the thought of her getting them pierced drove me crazy since I am scared mindlessly about contamination and her possibly getting something from it. I wasn't going to let the OCD rule but it sure has ever since that moment. I have been filled with fear and anxiety over the possibility of  hiv/aids from piercing. I have been told it's highly unlikely but I can't seem to shake this fear. I have always been freaked out about blood and the possibility of hiv/aids. I don't even like writing the word because if I read it or see it, it takes me now to this dreadful place of hopelessness and worry. I also worry because of "me" her earrings are not "exactly" the same on each side since I had them move one of the dots before they pierced it. So, I get better and go along not even thinking about it and then for no particular reason these thoughts come flooding back into my mind and take over. I become depressed and anxious. My doctor has told me to start taking clonazapam when I feel this anxiety. It does seem to help bring down the anxiety but the thoughts always there. He prescribed risperdone to help break up the thoughts more but I decided not to take it because I was afraid of the side effects. I currently take fluvoxomine in the evening. I have taken that since 1998. Living with UNCERTAINTY is so overwhelming.