Oh man, why? I always do this. I let my kids get or do something and then later my OCD really kicks in and won't leave me alone.
A few weeks ago my son who is 12 wanted to buy an ipod touch with his own money. I let him. Then my 9 year old daughter wanted to buy one. I let her. I'm just mad at myself now. I wish I could return them or just take them and sell them on craigslist. This is where the fear just starts to overwhelm and my mind goes in all different directions. It's the what if? I don't know what to do. They would be mad at me if I took them away I know that. I don't know if I'm over-reacting, okay I probably am BUT WHAT IF?
I'm beating myself up. So, anyway I've done some researching and haven't found much so I went to a handy dandy website I've used before and by the way they are very helpful and quick to answer. It's the EPA. I don't feel reassured like I was hoping. They just said that " the type of energy used in wireless technology is radio frequency(RF). RF radiation is non-ionizing. In other words not strong enough to affect the structured atoms it contacts...Wireless technology is still relatively new world-wide, researchers continue to study efffects of long-term exposure." It sounds like they really don't know. I also don't like that the ipod touch gets warm on the back where they hold it. I don't know what that can do. I thought about this a little before they bought them and was fine for a few weeks and now just last night and today it comes on full bore. That's one thing I really hate about OCD. You can be fine and great for weeks and then something just comes from nowhere and turns you upside down and makes you feel like a sad, worried, confused, helpless, crazy person. We didn't even have wireless internet until a few months ago. I finally got it so we could stream movies from netflix. I worried a little bit about that. I'm just feeling mad right now and sad and confused. It's this stupid OCD mood and I don't want to go through this. Dang! What do I do? I don't know. Why can't we have the answers to everything? I know that it probably wouldn't make life better but it seems like it would sometimes. I hate technology sometimes. I hate OCD too. Here's to my worried life and weekend. Cheers OCD. P.S. Sorry for the negative attitude today. I just feel like bullying my OCD and Radio Frequencies.
Just hang on Kim, I know how you feel 100% and it’s good that you let it out. It happens to me too and most of time I feel the same way you do about OCD, but that creates more anxiety for me. Just keep in mind that once you stop worrying about one thing, OCD picks up something else, and that’s the nature of it. We just have to deal with it in many different ways, and sharing it with people that suffer from OCD like me is the best way, because we understand each other and know what each one of us feels and goes through. Just hang on… I can’t say don’t worry about it because with OCD, that’s what fuels it, if we try not to worry about something it makes it worst.
ReplyDeleteSorry you're having a sucky time with the Ipods. I know what it's like to worry about something - while it seems like no one else is worried about it at all. It's okay. Give yourself a hug from me. :) I'll keep you in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteThank you for the support. I sure appreciate it and it really lifts my mood when I know I have some wonderful people that understand and offer non-judgemental support and opinions.
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