Where to begin? It's been an interesting week.
I found a couple ugly, horrible looking, red, swollen, bumps on my body and I think they are just ingrown hairs. I don't like the look of infection around them. I used to be able to take a needle and poke out a sliver with no worries. Now, I worry that the needle might be contaminated even though I've had it for a long time sitting in my dresser drawer with mending supplies. Even though I clean it with my 99 something percent rubbing alcohol. It could still have some blood germs that could give me something on it yep. I know it sounds funny when I read it but not when I'm experiencing the sense of realness when OCD is kicking in. So, anyway this is gross but I poked the pimple or whatever it is to try to start some healing. That didn't work. I just put some neosporin on it for a few days but that hasn't helped either. I found another one fairly close in proximity but I don't know why I have these. I'm not really worried that I have them it's more about the infection in them. I always worry that things infected in my body are going to travel to my brain or heart. I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow to see if they can take care of it for me. So, that morning I was obsessing over the disease I might have given myself from my dirty needle. I was over it by mid-morning. I looked in my doctors handbook about sliver removal and it said to use a needle that was cleaned with rubbing alcohol so I figured it must be fine and sterile enough.
I was having some issues again with possible battery leakage. I have had a laptop for a while now. I don't like the fact that it contains a BATTERY on the underneath side of it. I would not even set the laptop on my lap because of that and I don't know what the other wireless stuff might do to me or the battery could leak. I know it's so weird. Anyway, I've notice some whiteish stuff which is probably dust but I can't be CERTAIN and that's what my OCD wants is 100% CERTAINTY. I cleaned the surface of my desk and the underneath of my computer but it was bothering me. I get more worried because I'm afraid if it is battery acid then I'll get it in my eyes when I take out my contacts. I am over it today. I was wearing gloves yesterday to type on the computer before I took my contacts out. I know it's funny. Ha, Ha, I can even laugh at it. It was funny when I was doing it but I knew I just didn't want to deal with it any other way at that moment. GLOVES are my friends. I don't have gloves on today.
You should take pictures of your hands with gloves while you type and post them on the blog, you know, just for fun. My doctor told me jokingly that he knows for a fact that I don't have contamination OCD, because if I did, my wife would have been very happy, I laugh at it because it's true and because it was funny. You see, I like to have fun at the expense of my OCD, that's one way I can get through it. I'm sorry if i made you feel bad by trying to be funny, but you should look at the food cabinets in my home, the cans are in order by type, size and the labels must be facing front, and also they can't be upside down. But my wife likes it that way, because she can find anything right away... go figure. That's why it's my job when we go food shopping.
ReplyDeleteI try to find humor in it if it's possible. It doesn't offend me. When I am on the outside looking in alot of the things I worry so much about do seem like I'm getting carried away but at the time it's so real to me that it just doesn't help. I don't have the organization with my OCD. I think that could be a good thing. Maybe I should try organizing when I'm worrying about stuff. I'd have a real clean house. :)
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