Grumpy

I haven't blogged in quite a while because I guess I just haven't felt like it. I have felt like expressing my feelings lately. Sometimes I'm just too irritated and don't know how to express myself. So I'm thinking that I'm just a grumpy person to my family the one's I care about the most. I don't know how this happened. I always have been a nice person and I really love my family. I just feel hopeless alot. I feel like I'm doing the same thing day after day and have no goals or motivation. The only thing I do is take care of my family. A typical week for me is taking my kids to school and sports and whatever other activities, preparing meals, grocery shopping and other errands, cleaning house, laundry, dishes, and going to church on Sunday. I am usually satisfied with this. I have been a stay-at-home mom for about 7 years now. I quit my job to be home with my kids. I want to be home with them. I feel more useless now I guess since they are more independent now. I sometimes think I should get a job but I have no idea what I would do. I wanted to start making candles and try selling them and I was all excited about it but now my OCD is getting in the way like always and trying to sabotage it for me. The fragrance I would have to use to make them might be bad for me it says. Almost everything I want to do is destroyed by my OCD. Lately I just haven't been very happy. I just feel stuck in this pit of boringness and helplessness and I don't know how to get out. I think it could have to do with some depression that goes along with my OCD. I know today is the first day in a while I have seen sun here where I live and it is nice.