Day by day

I am doing fine right now. I have had my ups and downs. I have been taking a clonazepam daily and it really helps. I tried not to take it for a few days this week and whoa what a difference. I feel all out of sorts when I don't take it. I feel like it's much harder to make decisions, I feel fuzzy like I'm looking at myself through a window, and I don't have much patience at all. I took one yesterday finally and now I am going to continue to take them daily. My doctor is not concerned about them becoming addictive because it is a small dose. It just takes that edge off and makes me more calm and much more functional. It's amazing. I also take a daily dose of fluvoxomine but the clonazepam is certainly helping me.

Oil Change

That's my problem of the day. I went to get an oil change before I did any of the lots of stuff I had to do today before going out of town.  I should have done the oil change last. It usually doesn't bother me because I make and appointment and take it to the dealership. I always seem to wait until we are going somewhere and have procrastinated on getting an oil change and decide it needs to be done before we go. So, today I thought the dealership probably wouldn't have any appointments left so I went to oil can henry's. I really strongly dislike going to those places and usually it's because they try to talk you into a million services you don't need. I had a coupon and left only spending $30 something dollars. They tried to get more money from me but I didn't go for it. So, I had to deal with a bunch of junk I didn't want to deal with. When I first arrived I got a free newspaper which I set aside and didn't read because I didn't want to and it was contaminated by the oil guy's hands. He then gave me this laminated price list and whatever and it had greasy smudges of who knows what on it. Great! I didn't have any wet wipes in my car either because I was out. That would have helped. Then the dude came over with this other laminated thing and had like 5 different dripping chemicals on it and he had to show them to me and explain them to me and I didn't even care. I was just thinking get that away from me. He then gave me the papers that he was holding under that thing. Yippee! I just really think it's dumb to show me those things anyway. All I wanted was my oil changed, I just don't care what color the different fluids are in my car and how they are doing. It's kind of funny. I had to give the guy my debit card too which he contaminated with his dirty greasy hands. I had to touch it and put it in my wallet. I drove off trying not to touch much of my steering wheel with the contaminated parts of my hands. I went home and had to clean my stuff with toilet paper since I was out of paper towels. By the way, I go through about a eight pack of paper towels a week. I know it's alot. I'm not happy about my contaminated groceries though. I had to get groceries today and it would have been much better to get them before the oil change. It makes me mad when I think I can just go do something like a normal person and it will be fine and dandy. I'm hoping my family doesn't get whatever fluids they use at oil can henry's on there food. It's going to make it extra hard when I'm preparing food and extra hand-washing on my already very dry hands. OCD you are not cool.

Gloves

My rubber gloves and I have quite a loving relationship. They save me from lots of contamination.
I wear them to clean, do yardwork, or handle anything I think is contaminated.
Lately, I have noticed when I go to the store to buy gloves I don't like what I noticed and didn't really notice or care about before. In a few of the stores they are place on the shelf where above it sits the lice treatments which is a form of poison/chemical. I think about it accidentally leaking onto the gloves. The other day I went to pick up a box of gloves and there was something sticky on it. I don't know what it was but I wasn't happy about it. Instead of going home I stayed and got a few things I needed. I just used my other non-contaminated hand. That can be challenging. I got some gloves at Target today but below them were huge bottles of rubbing alcohol so I worry about it evaporating and somehow getting on my gloves. I have issues with rubbing alcohol. I clean my daughters new earrings with them but then I'm afraid after she touches them she might get it in her eyes. Lately, I am so afraid of getting my eyes contaminated and going blind. I wear contacts so I have to touch my eyes. So, battery acid leftovers that remain on my glassess from the leakage of remote control of my nightstand which I don't even know if any really got on there, rubbing alcohol, dish detergent and whatever else. I used to put rubbing alcohol all over my hands when I was probably in 4th or 5th grade. If I pet my dog I would clean them with it. I didn't know I had OCD then. I don't think this was normal, but who knew. I just didn't like germs. OCD sure has a way of changing and making itself known. If you get over one thing another thing just appears.

Holidays 2010

I had a good very good holiday season this year. I usually am very emotional during the holidays. I cry easily for no reason. I think the daily dose of clonazepam has really helped me alot. It has helped with my obsessions. I still get freaked about the stupid batteries, mercury, blood and all that but it has seriously helped me and my mood. I only have to take one in the morning and it really helps with my anxiety.

Thank You

I just want to take a moment to thank my fellow OCD blogging friends. I really feel like we are a special group of people and it does help so much to know you are there to offer support and to know you face similar and different things and advice on how to handle them. Sometimes just some simple words really can make it all seem okay. Thank you all.

Asbestos

I was worrying about some asbestos in the kid's schools. We get these papers saying they check for them and have found some and they are handled by AHERA which stands for Asbestos Hazard Emergency Response Act. The schools are checked every six months. I wasn't really worried about it much to my surprise until the other day. My son who is in 7th grade is in band. He said he knew this might worry me but, they had asbestos in the stairs in their band room. He wasn't concerned. He only told me because he was talking about how the band teacher wanted to get them taken out but it would cost too much because of the asbestos. I guess the kids are always tripping over them and she just didn't like them. I'm glad he told me anyway. I called and talked to someone in charge of all this stuff and she said the asbestos was in the glue that binded the carpet to these stairs the kids sit on to play instruments. She said it could only be released into the air if it was sanded or something like that. The woman did call the band teacher and talked to her. She said she could submit a form for a bid to see how much it would cost to get them removed.  I just have to trust that he is safe.
I also have a friend who I've know for quite a few years and she lives in an old house. She mentioned that her house has asbestos in the popcorn ceiling. She gave me some boots that didn't fit her and I was so excited by it. The next day I ended up giving them back because it was bothering me too much thinking that there might be some asbestos fibers in them.

OCD runs in families

I know from my own experience and from reading that OCD is genetic.
My dad, sister an niece have it. My sister just started having more symptoms of it.
I always wondered about my son who is now 12. He sometimes had little "habits" that made me think about him having it and hoping not.
Lately, signs have been more apparent. He has had  habits but I'm now wondering if they actually are tics which are associated with OCD. He has in the past had continuous throat clearing and sniffing. It will last for a few months and then go away. He now has started stretching his neck which is quite obvious. It is particularly worse when he is at basketball pactice. My husband told me last night at practice it was bad and he was shrugging and stretching his neck and getting very distracted. My son is on the top competitive team for his age in our town. I really don't know what to do. He doesn't talk about it or say why he does it. I asked him if he fells like he has to and he just says he's stretching or doesn't really say anything. It drives my husband crazy and he tells him to quit it or mocks him I told him I don't think he can help it.