My rubber gloves and I have quite a loving relationship. They save me from lots of contamination.
I wear them to clean, do yardwork, or handle anything I think is contaminated.
Lately, I have noticed when I go to the store to buy gloves I don't like what I noticed and didn't really notice or care about before. In a few of the stores they are place on the shelf where above it sits the lice treatments which is a form of poison/chemical. I think about it accidentally leaking onto the gloves. The other day I went to pick up a box of gloves and there was something sticky on it. I don't know what it was but I wasn't happy about it. Instead of going home I stayed and got a few things I needed. I just used my other non-contaminated hand. That can be challenging. I got some gloves at Target today but below them were huge bottles of rubbing alcohol so I worry about it evaporating and somehow getting on my gloves. I have issues with rubbing alcohol. I clean my daughters new earrings with them but then I'm afraid after she touches them she might get it in her eyes. Lately, I am so afraid of getting my eyes contaminated and going blind. I wear contacts so I have to touch my eyes. So, battery acid leftovers that remain on my glassess from the leakage of remote control of my nightstand which I don't even know if any really got on there, rubbing alcohol, dish detergent and whatever else. I used to put rubbing alcohol all over my hands when I was probably in 4th or 5th grade. If I pet my dog I would clean them with it. I didn't know I had OCD then. I don't think this was normal, but who knew. I just didn't like germs. OCD sure has a way of changing and making itself known. If you get over one thing another thing just appears.
I notice the shape shifting with my health anxiety--I'll have one symptom I really focus on and then suddenly it would migrate to another symptom. It's helped to remind myself that it's all ocd, and that my research or checking of the symptom doesn't have a connection with reality--many other things could be wrong with parts of my body that I don't compulsively worry about.
ReplyDeleteI understand that feeling - wondering if something is leaking, then contaminating something else, and on and on. OCD is a mean, lying beasty. Not that knowing that makes it any easier, of course. Hope it helps a little, at least, knowing there are others who share your frustration.
ReplyDeleteAdventures in Anxiety Land