Monday, July 16, 2012

OCD overload

Oh, what a day! Yes, it's good because God is good and has given me this day. When it comes to OCD though it's been challenging. I am babysitting as I usually do. My nephew is four. We went outside to play today and were not out there very long because he stepped in some unknown substance. There is something all over the road in our cul-du-sac. I asked the neighbor if they knew what it was and they think it's motor oil. Someone put kitty litter on it but I don't know what happened because there is a stream that covers the road. There's an area with the kitty litter on it that turned into this thick nasty creamy substance. My nephew of all places decided to walk through the middle of it with his toy car we have for him. The wheels got covered and so did his shoes. It somehow got on his legs too. I went inside and got on a pair of latex gloves and came out and took off his shoes and put them in a plastic bag and took off his socks. I got papertowels with soapy water to clean off his legs. He managed to get some on his shorts so I had to change those. My OCD was high. It's like at that moment I want to start swearing and I don't swear. I feel so angry and overwhelmed in the height of the OCD moment. I don't do anything to show my anger but just feel this overwheming feeling of just wanting to run and quit and escape.
I'm feeling better now, but I still have that "on edge" feeling. It's that feeling where I could sure use a clonazapam but I haven't taken those for quite a while now. I don't want to if I can help it.
So goes it, this day in the life with OCD.

1 comment:

  1. Hi Kim. I'm sorry you had such a rough day. That would have been difficult for me too. You should be proud of yourself, though. You DIDN'T run away or scream or do anything that you really wanted to do. You stayed and dealt with it. That is awesome!

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