All I know is that I have been feeling so irritable lately. I just get mad and irritated for no good reason. Sounds like are loud or whatever. I'm sick of feeling like this. I feel like I am in a mental fog. I'm trying to figure out what is going on. I started back on vitamin D and fish oil and my multi-vitamin a few days ago to see if that helps. I don't want to call my doctor because it just doesn't seem to help. I know I need to start excercising and that should help too, I hope. We had a very sunny day in the 80's yesterday and now it's dark and cloudy again today. I also had a cavity filled last week and then it was bothersome for a few days afterwords and I noticed it felt rough in between with my tongue. I went a while ago so he could smooth it out and now it feels like there is a sharp point that I keep putting my tongue on. I hate having my teeth worked on. It really bothers me when it's not just right and I hate my teeth being messed with and "ruined" with the drill. Now, I do sound like a total irritable girl.
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Friday, June 17, 2011
Our mini-vacation
On memorial day weekend we had to go out of town for a baseball tournament. It was to a place we used to go for vacation when I worked and we had more money. I rented a townhouse for our family because I do not like being stuck in a hotel room. This is the story of our vacation.
When we arrived at the townhome I went upstairs because there was a closet with some games in it. My daughter was looking at them. I first thing I noticed that I didn't like was they had paint cans stored in there. That was nothing compared to what I noticed next and obsessed about until our last day there. The water heater was in that closet too. I noticed white junk which was corrosion because it was leaking. That was not cool. The thing that really got my OCD going was the insulation wrapped around it. It had the pink stuff sticking out around the top and I am afraid of that stuff. I am afraid of breathing in stuff that might harm me. So, then I had to call the owner to tell her about the leak. It turns out a plumber had to come out and the water heater had to be replaced. I was not happy about this. I was freaked out because I was imagining all the fiberglass particles that would get all through the home while the plumber had to take it out and bring it down the stairs. I wouldn't vacuum though because that might stir it up more. We were gone at games the whole day so it was probably good we weren't there most of that day. There is something that made me stop worrying about all this and it's crazy. I was watching a show on HGTV and there was a women remodeling her vacation home. Hmm...What do ya know. There was exposed insulation on all the walls of the room she was in. My husband thought oh great but I said yes it is because I can laugh and feel good about this whole situation because the lady was pregnant too. She didn't care about the insulation. She was even painting. It's amazing how a silly show can snap me out of it. I did find a red smudge that looked like blood on the bathroom wall too. I took a wood boat decoration they had on the counter and put it against it to cover it up. I also found something crusty on my comforter on my bed. I took it off and tried to shove it in the washing machine but it wouldn't fit. Obviously, they don't wash them much if it doesn't even fit in the washer. I took it and shoved it in the closed and found a different covering for the bed. Wow, I sure know how to make my life complicated.
When we arrived at the townhome I went upstairs because there was a closet with some games in it. My daughter was looking at them. I first thing I noticed that I didn't like was they had paint cans stored in there. That was nothing compared to what I noticed next and obsessed about until our last day there. The water heater was in that closet too. I noticed white junk which was corrosion because it was leaking. That was not cool. The thing that really got my OCD going was the insulation wrapped around it. It had the pink stuff sticking out around the top and I am afraid of that stuff. I am afraid of breathing in stuff that might harm me. So, then I had to call the owner to tell her about the leak. It turns out a plumber had to come out and the water heater had to be replaced. I was not happy about this. I was freaked out because I was imagining all the fiberglass particles that would get all through the home while the plumber had to take it out and bring it down the stairs. I wouldn't vacuum though because that might stir it up more. We were gone at games the whole day so it was probably good we weren't there most of that day. There is something that made me stop worrying about all this and it's crazy. I was watching a show on HGTV and there was a women remodeling her vacation home. Hmm...What do ya know. There was exposed insulation on all the walls of the room she was in. My husband thought oh great but I said yes it is because I can laugh and feel good about this whole situation because the lady was pregnant too. She didn't care about the insulation. She was even painting. It's amazing how a silly show can snap me out of it. I did find a red smudge that looked like blood on the bathroom wall too. I took a wood boat decoration they had on the counter and put it against it to cover it up. I also found something crusty on my comforter on my bed. I took it off and tried to shove it in the washing machine but it wouldn't fit. Obviously, they don't wash them much if it doesn't even fit in the washer. I took it and shoved it in the closed and found a different covering for the bed. Wow, I sure know how to make my life complicated.
Grumpy
I haven't blogged in quite a while because I guess I just haven't felt like it. I have felt like expressing my feelings lately. Sometimes I'm just too irritated and don't know how to express myself. So I'm thinking that I'm just a grumpy person to my family the one's I care about the most. I don't know how this happened. I always have been a nice person and I really love my family. I just feel hopeless alot. I feel like I'm doing the same thing day after day and have no goals or motivation. The only thing I do is take care of my family. A typical week for me is taking my kids to school and sports and whatever other activities, preparing meals, grocery shopping and other errands, cleaning house, laundry, dishes, and going to church on Sunday. I am usually satisfied with this. I have been a stay-at-home mom for about 7 years now. I quit my job to be home with my kids. I want to be home with them. I feel more useless now I guess since they are more independent now. I sometimes think I should get a job but I have no idea what I would do. I wanted to start making candles and try selling them and I was all excited about it but now my OCD is getting in the way like always and trying to sabotage it for me. The fragrance I would have to use to make them might be bad for me it says. Almost everything I want to do is destroyed by my OCD. Lately I just haven't been very happy. I just feel stuck in this pit of boringness and helplessness and I don't know how to get out. I think it could have to do with some depression that goes along with my OCD. I know today is the first day in a while I have seen sun here where I live and it is nice.
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