Monday, December 12, 2011
Fear will knock you down
I have a problem and the problem is obviously OCD but I am afraid. I am very afraid. I live a life full of fear. I am a believer of the almighty God and he tells me DO NOT FEAR but I do. My life is getting scarier by the day. I am allowing it to happen. I am starting to think the ERP might be helpful. I was to afraid to think about it or contemplate it before. It's just always something getting in the way of me living a normal life. I found this job that sounds perfect for me but I'm afraid to apply because it's in a house that was built in the 1890's and that probably means asbestos somewhere. This morning I went outside and I had stupidly parked my husband's car in the driveway since he used mine to go out of town this weekend. Now, there is a wet circle of antifreeze? I don't know what it is but I don't like it. It probably is antifreeze since it was leaking it before but my husband had said it wasn't leaking anymore so I parked it in the driveway. Now I have that to deal with. I'm just a bit overwhelmed at the moment. I always sound like a wreak on here but that's because this is my place for that. My venting place. I try to hide this from other people except my husband and parents which I try but can't seem to. I'm afraid to live. I want to live and have a fun life. My life is not much fun these days. Yes, I have happy moments but I have alot of wasted time and worry in my life because of OCD. Again, this is not a place to feel sorry for me because that's not my reason for writing. Support is always good. I am trying to make and effort to comment on your blogs because I know you need support too but OCD stops me from that alot too.
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Girl, you got this. yeah it sucks hard core, but you want to be better and that is what you need. You won't get better all and once and once you get better you get all worse again. Think about all the things you HAVE done today and not things you haven't. You are living life. We are living life. We are just doing it way different than other people. And there's a reason for that somewhere but only God knows it and right now He's not telling me what that reason is. makes me nuts when He does that.
ReplyDeleteHi Kim. For a long time I was afraid to post comments due to the OCD too. I know you're scared. I'm scared too, even though I also follow God. But we're not alone. Each day we get thru is a victory. I'd love to encourage you to try ERP. It is extremely difficult at first, but it DOES get better with practice. I'm a big fan of getting psychological help thru teaching hospitals. They tend to use the most current and scientifically backed methods of treatment. I will pray for you.
ReplyDelete((HUGS)), I know how you feel. Ocd can do that because you NEVER know just what is out there that can be an ocd trigger.Everything is fine, then-bam ocd hits. There were lots of days i didn't want to get out of bed.
ReplyDeleteIt can get better!! Hang in there.
Sorry, but i havent read all your blogs yet. Do you have a counsellor or ar you trying to overcome this by yourself? Have you read any books about ocd? Brain Lock By Dr. Schwartz and 2 books by Jeff Bell: When in Doubt, Make Belief and Rewind, Repeat, Replay.
Look them up on goodreads.com to see if they'd be something you're interested in reading. If your library doesn't have them, they can get them thru interlibrary loans.