Friday, July 15, 2011
Guilt and hopelessness
This is something that has followed me around especially since I've had children. I feel so responsible for their every moment of happiness. I feel so guilty when I don't have anything for us to do. I've lived in this town or area my whole life and I just run out of stuff to do. Depression I believe is what causes these feelings. When I watch commercials about depression and they hold up those signs saying what it is those all describe me. I hate this feeling of guilt and feeling unworthy as a mother and a person. The wanting to do things and having ideas in my life but not quite sure how to make it happen. I don't know if anyone else experiences this but it's a real struggle. It just feels like I'm on a treadmill running nowhere. I hate complaining because God has given me all the tools I need I just need to figure out how to use them.
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Guilt. Sometimes I call my OCD my "false concience" because it makes me feel "guilty" when I shouldn't (i.e., I haven't even done it yet and never plan to do it, but I already feel guilty). I just take care of kids for 25ish hours a week, and they are not mine so you have my respect as a full time mom. I'm sure you are doing great with your kids. And don't forget, just reading with them or playing with toys for the millionth time (I don't know how old they are, so maybe that doesn't apply) is great. When I grew up, I spent alot of time at home. One of my favorite memories is looking through a phone book with my little brother and laughing at the pictures.
ReplyDeleteUnleash yourself from feeling guilty with happiness. It comes to you not with a price. Veritas liberavit vos. The truth will set you free.
ReplyDeleteIf you don't mind, I would like to ask a favor from you. Can you evaluate this counseling site? I have heard that their services could satisfy our need for good mental health. This could also be a good resource in your future posts. Thank you so much. Have a nice day.
The feeling of guiltiness and hopelessness are in deed bothering. It can affect your whole functions as person. Definitely, you ave to consult an expert or a counselor for you to gain help for yourself. It wont be a hard job for you; you just have to open and prepare yourself for all the possible;e therapies.
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